After The Shower!!

Yet another Sunday passed away. Life has become so busy, I have lost track of time, days, weeks passes away in a flick of time and I am left with feeling, Oh yeh..i happened to go to college last Sunday and it seems like a day before.

Today I took a afternoon off from a really lousy class and spend time with one of this really adorable couple. The very feeling that you get seeing people with lot of understanding, loads of care and then lots and lots of love, is itself immense.

Yeh , the climate in Bangalore is kinda weird. Its so hot the entire day, and then by evening dark cloud pile up from no where and then heavy downpour and thunders. So this evening after dinner I got struck in the heavy rain that lasted I don’t know how long.

I sought shelter in the bus stop. I could actually see the huge heavy droplets under the light of the lamp post nearby, hitting hard all possible thingy. I was standing in the pavement idle, watching around. The road was flooded with muddy water, the vegetable vendors were trying hard to cover their possessions with sheets and a couple was trying to seek shelter in a fancy umbrella, there was a guy with cycle, carelessly moving. For a little span of time there was no life, moving. People flocked under any roof that they could find. The place where I was standing got filled in soon. As usual I got lost in my own dreams, the very part of me.

I was just having visions of me standing so pretty in the rain, and some honcho passing by staring, like he has found his dream girl. I know this sound a lot like a movie, wherein Imran Hashmi find this really pretty girl and go and smooch. Okie, first thing I don’t want an imran hashmi to come hit on me, and kissing and all is like out of way. But, the tragic part of the session is among the flock around, no body fit into my criteria.This reminds me of one of my really good friend in Bangalore, yet another sweetheart, “ Divya we keep looking at handsome guys and why does it always happen that all the uncles stare at us”. I don’t really believe in looks , its finally the feelings that matter. And I really believe “you should be loving a person who loves you, but not whom you love”. But it so happens, that some point of time you might want this one person to love you, though you know it will be hard on the latter’s part to get the same feeling. But I don’t really believe in this emotional torturing, forcing and making the other love you. The feelings that come from heart shouldn't be a selfish kind, you have done your part, its now up to them to accept or not.

This part of life is really called struggling; back in home you lead such a comfortable life, wherein you get everything in your doorstep, wherein you give a call to your dad, and demand things, and poor thing getting all possible orders irrespective of the tiring day he had. Going out of home after 5 in the evening is also out of routine. Life in the other part of hedge is so contrary wherein you work 12 hours a day, slogging like a pig in the office, and the whole torture of travelling, wherein after 7 in the night the bus is so damn crowded, you have hardly any place to stand and you have uncles staring at you from top to bottom, as if their eyes are made up of ultra thin layers, through which they can see everything. It’s so difficult to survive and I do feel proud of myself for being independent. At least I should be doing so much for the pain the parents took to bring me up. Life is not easy, it’s really hard and you can survive only if you are tough and yeah life have taught me to be tough.

The thunder gave me a jerk that was when I realised that the food parcel in my hand, was getting cold. By then I was feeling really uncomfortable with the eyes around penetrating so much, I realised its better to walk in the rain, than actually waiting the shower to subside. The next second, I just closed my eyes and ears and stepped on the road.

I felt my mobile ringing a number of times, but later on got to know it was the classical music from the nearby Function hall. Expectations are so part of you, that when you know nothing is gonna happen, you still expect.

FEELINGS!!!!

We humans should consider our self lucky in a way, that we can express what we feel. Its just not the face that reflects your emotions, but everything that is part of you, more than the physical aspects its just the change in your behavior.

I don’t think so its really necessary to go out with someone or just be with them for quite long to actually feel for them. You can like a person even without mingling so much. You never know its actually what that actually makes you love them. This goes in with everybody, may its their presence that makes you feel good or may be even their life , that makes you feel for them.

Life becomes actually beautiful when you think you have someone to care for, or just do things for or even just think or talk about. I know this sound like a fantasy kind of love, but its actually a wonderful feeling until the same thing breaks your heart.

But its actually kind of practical and obvious, the breaking heart thingy, because just imagine the shock the person who are being loved gets to know this. He/she will be dumbstruck. what feelings? And who?what did I actually do that such a situation occurred?

But you know what, this is the ending of most of the love stories , the other person never get to know that he or she is actually being loved . the worst part every body longs for love, and when they get to know that somebody actually feel for them they are just not ready. People say that this true love and all is bullshit, and the black and white kind of love has become extinct, but the fact is you just have to dig the fossils.

Relief is such kind of a feeling is in a way to let the Fantasy Guy/Girl who you actually adore let know somehow what you actually feel. May be they will laugh through this and at the most most feel for the victim, but imagine the other way that you have been feeling for a person since I don’t how long and never been able to say, and the finally end up somewhere else and then think like..once upon a time..it had happened like this..

When you are in love everything just seems to be lovely, the breeze, the rain , the rainbow , the colors, the kids..you feel happy inside and just sees the world accordingly..you do all possible things to look great..but when your heart is broken all these seems to be a burden....an emptiness kind of prevails..when it rains you just feeling like getting wet so atleast it wipes out feeling..imagine the same rain which you once upon a time just waited for has turned out to be something else now..its life....

"It was raining yesterday, so is today..but yesterday i was in love and today iam heartbroken"..

I don’t know actually what I have written..it may sound out of mind to an extend but it’s a true fact. It goes like feel for somebody, it always happens in way of life that you like someone in life just a little more, but its you never get in life everything that you “like”

So live through it..It really hurts a lot, and will take little time..but feelings are just a integral part of you, which actually make you go crazy..A friendship or a relationship don’t just expect anything. Just realize that “feelings to control nahi kar paya , kya karein yeh dil bhi na..kamina hai yaar”..

PILOSOPEEE!!

I don’t know since how long I have been thinking of writing something, but life has become so busy, that there is hardly any time. Sometime I feel the only that is left now is to tie a knot. So my day goes like this, get up at 6, cook and go to office, come back by 9.30, by the time you fresh up its 10. Cook again and then sleep and till Saturday the same routine. And Sunday attend class. What a life?? Iam so packed up 24*7.. “ career banane ke chakkar mein apna life borin bana diya yaar “.

The Pressure in the office is yet another thingy that pulls out all the energy in life and in addition to which the chaos in life. And the traffic and pollution in bengaluru is yet another headache.The only thing that keeps me going is “I love my job and in short time I have made such good friends around, which really inspires me to go on”.

Life is like that, you are no more a college going freak. This may sound philosophical but it’s the truth. The final chance to make a career. There were moments in life when I think iam just loosing myself for being in the group. Life is just more than building relationship, learn to prioritise people. This is the words of one of colleague, which I think is quite practical. Once you know the tactic, who have learned to live. It actually made me think a lot, may be it big time I change. You cant just love everybody and also expect the same back, learn to just select a few and just build a strong bond such that they remain through out your life.

Finally “zindangi apni hai yaar..jeena sikho “. I think finally I am growing up.